This city has really has a hold on us. It has become so familiar. We are moving through three seasons now. In late September and October we were able to watch the leaves change color and drop from their branches. While November moved into December we watched as the canal outside the AMC froze over a couple of time and people around us spoke of skating on the ice. I walked every morning passed the holiday stands (in the squares and outside the hospital) selling their seasonal treats, more specifically olliebollen. The miracle of the most hardy mosquito that endures the freezing temperatures and lady bugs in bed. One particularly beautiful day the snow dusting on the streets and bicycles while the sun shone this soft light. It was chilly chilly chilly. The snow is not a frequent condition here, so the people were all over the streets. A stunning day for the photographers, the morning after the fresh dusting of snow, you could find one around many a corner. The garden was a site to behold. As we move into February the sun comes out hinting at spring, we have taken Todd out in his special chair with wheels and basked in the sun’s rays while the air is still brisk. Every square and chair outside is bubbling over with all types of folks. (The chair in the sun being a hot commodity, for it is still rather cool in the shade). I am surrounded by water and yet I have not been given the opportunity to be on it, time really. We watch and try to measure the improvement in Todd’s strength and ability. I am chomping at the bit to move Todd forward to Home, it is without a doubt a necessary location for us both to continue on this healing path and find more strength and peace to move through the next season….. Frustration rears it very real head the transition is not quite tangible…… While the time here has taken its toll on us………every day we remain here we appreciate and enjoy the great gifts of this city and its inhabitants (Todd had a piece from an art show come to him since he could not go to it, lovely food prepared by our friends, great conversation, and those are just a couple of the highlights…..laughter where ever we can find it.)…..and also you at home. We are always trying to devise ways to inspire Todd and put a smile on his face.
I dream sometimes of being home and on my kayak, rowing in the peaceful morning before going to Todd……..the support of our friends and family, and the ability to be in a room and understand clearly all that is said. I dream of Todd being less drowsy….most importantly I dream of Our next chapter and season of growth.
Each day is really a fight for our life in the most passive of ways of course, for Todd each day is work. We are in a limbo somewhere between healing and home.
UPDATE: The sun has gone away and the cold has returned….burr. gloves back on.