I lost Barney in the train station today! I guess lost my not apply…. because to lose something (or someone as the case may be) implies you first had it! Of course, we had no contingency plan in place, so I was a bit unsure of how long I should “wait” at the station, not knowing whether he had jumped into a cab determined to find Todd. Alas, no one ran off and we eventually found one another and when he rang me we were within sight lines of one another! Ahh the miracle of pay phones, remember those?
Todd is holding his own, and the doctors and nurses once again demonstrate their commitment to Todd and his recovery. The medication cocktail and levels are the focus, and the surgery seems to no longer be a consideration. Everyone is feeling a bit guarded, but optimistic. They are playing things safe, and I believe I already mentioned we would be spending the remainder of the month here. It is fine with me, time gives Todd an opportunity to get stronger before the flight home…… and the doctors the information they need to assure a safe return home. His communication is improving slowly and I am getting better at reading his lips. Yesterday he clearly said “It is driving me crazy!”…. with his voice. So he seems to be able to get the point across when it counts! What he was referring to was a new and consistently noisy patient that has since been moved out of the room for everyone’s benefit, I laughed and told him I shared his feelings. I started looking for a paracetamol…Dutch aspirin. NO not for him, for myself, but then things quieted down. Next stop, eating. Todd watched me eating lunch yesterday with a longing in his eyes, it is clear that he is sooooo over the food in a tube! We do our little experiments (licks and tastes of things) and exercises while we await for the authority on this front to arrive. Simone, his speech pathologist, carries all the power on this front….. we hope when she stops in on Monday Todd will be wide awake.
Some of the nurses, I just found out, call Todd “Mr. Clooney” and they call me Mrs. Clooney ……….anything for laughs eh? It could be worse, we could be Mr. & Mrs. Al Yankovitz… but what I can say is everyone is starting to laugh more. Todd is looking quite handsome and like himself these days, and despite all his current limitations he still manages to be charming. It is really wonderful to see him emerge through the fog of medications and seizures. He lately looks like the Todd you see in the picture Todd + Baba there on the blog, except without his stylish sideburns. The eyebrows for sure! That’s what he looks like if he is interested or amused by the conversation.
Feel free to send Todd some cards this way (the address is correct under How to Help)…… and Johnny is on his way. Well umm I suspect in a very short time……he is really looking forward to spending Groundhog Day here!………..making some obscure reference to watching that movie over and over again for the whole day! Yikes. He will be packing us up and putting us on the plane home it seems. Speaking of movies I was watching Bullitt with Steve McQueen this absurdly early morning (couldn’t sleep, vitamins …. Jen knows all about this, guess you are not supposed to take ‘em before you go to sleep ….or you won’t.) and it made me homesick for our beautiful city by the bay….. amazing panoramic car chase! Amsterdam is without a doubt a romantically beautiful city, but San Francisco (and Oakland of course) now that is home. Dreaming of a walk at the Albany Bulb, Todd loves it there……..we will get there. Can’t rush things.
Last but not least. I got a great letter from a student and friend of Todd’s. Nice Reminder: One of Todd’s greatest gifts is to be able to move through the limitations of our own knowledge. He teaches his students and others (including himself) not to be limited by what they don’t know but to forge ahead and learn along the way, this is exactly the method he used to get where he is. This is what we are doing here, not hampered by the new and unknown territory, the only limitations are the physical and pharmaceutical …….and even those can’t hold us back. We are constant learning, and the thirst for new is visible. Through our own experiments we encounter successes and failures, all carry with them information, information in power.