It breaks my heart to tell you all that we are no longer returning home at this moment. The bags were getting packed, we were saying our goodbyes, and then we hit a not-so-new complication. The seizures returned. The doctors did not waste anytime, they whisked him off to ICU in a calculated and efficient manner. They are working through things systematically and I find myself feeling a bit quiet….. there are no words for what we are feeling now.

(This is a sidestep not necessarily a backwards step, honestly, and it is also comforting to have the same doctors follow through with all their recent past experience to influence the decision……. and that we were not on a plane.)

That said we have the lovely Yuksel and Zander are visiting from Berlin for the weekend and Barney is packing his bags to join us here in Amsterdam.

Toetsie wrote this to you all…….

Okay, I hate to be the bringer of the bad news. But I promised Alex an entry for the Todd blog, and I really wanted to write one being around especially Alex a lot in evening hours, say once a week/eight days, for the last 3 months. But the serious bad news is that Todd is facing difficulties at this moment: he had the fabulous day with so much action and laugh, work and love.. it was followed by a setback: the alarming seizures began, and Todd had to be brought back into the coma, and is in ICU right now. The procedure again, give the brain rest, start it up again, and hope to see the seizures gone.
So peeps, light those candles en whisper your healing thoughts with love to Todd, and smile sweetly at him, helping him heal.
Take your time…
Of course I know this is our communal worst nightmare, so please try to look at this off line, take a moment for yourself, and only then comment… Lets try to keep this place as the home where to give Alex warm fuzzies, and that is hard after devastation news. Check. Its really hard, but after one half day in bed crying, I made myself walk up the hill here in vacationland Bulgaria, and see if I could see a way out for Todd’s situation.
So while you just not read on here, but have you own moment, I will tell you a little about my healing walk… Enormous Ego document, be warned.
You can always read on later.

Love, Toetsie.

NOTE: I will post the continuation of this entry under stories of/ and for TODD. Continued there……..