Without a doubt this is a difficult time. The move back into ICU….. away from our nice window. The difficulties experienced here are not out of fear, but for the absence of Todd that I must endure. At this moment I have no wink, no inkling of a smile, no squeeze of his hand or gentle kiss to carry me on…….this is the frustration that your are witnessing.

Last night I spoke with a friend and it seems there may be some clarification required. If one person has a question then it could be more of you are thinking along the same lines. Todd’s move back to the ICU is due to procedural requirements, not that we are backsliding to where we were two months ago, by any means. This is a procedure – it is not so much an emergency, but an aggressive manner in which to handle the seizures.

“They are essentially shutting of the brain and then slowly turning it back on again.” According to Todd’s neurosurgeon.

Think of this as a restart when your computer is slogging through its applications. Generally, the restart will produce the desired results, and if not you systematically move through the computer until you get there.

Todd is stable and very very asleep. This procedure should take 3-5 days….. so prepare for some simple few days of not so much to say. The medications involved can only be administered in the ICU, also the temporary intubation (to avoid any complications or unnecessary labor for Todd’s tired body). The seizures should they continue would be difficult, but this is within the range of what can be expected with such a severe injury…..and will in time be managed.

On the Good News front….I spoke with Beth from the insurance company today. She has assured me that I will accompany Todd on the ambulance flight home. …. A HUGE concern here that has now been lifted from my shoulders. Can you tell I feel lighter now? Next resolve the apartment (which is well on its way) and I will find some peace.

We are just on this curvy road but we haven’t turned back! Soon we will move through this as we have with each hurdle, and return to my leaning over his bed to catch every whisper he struggles to deliver!

Alex + Todd.

p.s. I am not sure what is going on down there for Blue and Green Ball……but I have seen the word “hay bales” in print. I am going to guess that the setting up of this GRAND EVENT will be just as much an event in and of itself. (SO please take pictures of people up on ladders, outfit changes, and all the elves at work!!!) With this event you will see all the love that can not be directly administered to Todd, is poured in to the mix make it all that it can possible be. I am amazed and wish we could be there in person….CAUSE people that is a WHOLE LOT OF LOVE AND CARING.xxx

p.s.s. KooKs – Todd had always said this year we would finally join the Big Basin caravan. So know that we would have if we could have. xxx