Quote of the day from a friend who answered the phone despite the “unknown caller” label, which I now have.
“Half the people I love are unknown calls right now.”
Such a simple sentence and yet it speaks volumes. Distance is such a huge reality to us all on so many levels.
Today Todd is scheduled for his next surgery. This is a permanent solution to the constant ups and downs of the CSF fluid build up which has basically resulted in continuous swelling. I have gained confidence that this procedure is with out a doubt what Todd needs to rise above the fog that now surrounds him so densely. The issues at hand are interfering with Todd’s ability to move forward and out of this beautiful city. So as you all awake, our sweet and dearest Todd will be heading yet again into surgery, which should only take about 45 minutes they say and it is not too invasive. He will have a small incision at his left front scalp and at his stomach (to the left and above his belly button) where the drain will terminate. The hope is with this surgery comes clarity for Todd and his speech will return, for the pressure affects his speech center. His lungs are clear and he has spent much of this week on his back and side to assist in the clearing of his lungs, which seems to have improved.
Take comfort in the fact that this is a necessary step. We will move forward, return to the chair, laugh, converse and eat. One day in the not so distant future, we will be home and surrounded by all that is dear to us.
It has been almost ten weeks since Todd and I have had a conversation. Ten weeks since I felt his arms around me, his hug. We will without any doubt in my mind get there.
I took the train to the wrong part of the city on my way home….again DAMN. Just when you think you have everything down, you are reminded that you don’t. All it takes is a little day dreaming, to find that you have lost your way.
Peace and Love.
Alexandra + Todd