It is very hard work to be Todd at the moment. I am so proud of him and marvel at his tenacity. We have some major struggles right in front of us. He is on the brink of some major issues with his arms and his doc here is very very concerned. So we rub and work those arms hard, and pray the botox kicks in. We are not getting the results we need at the moment, both arms are seizing up. It is difficult for him and very difficult for us as well. We wait and hope his CSF fluid will be naturally absorbed and regulated, his cat scans create no alarms but no major improvements YET. The repeated setbacks and surgeries are playing a major role in his body not having the opportunity to heal and move on. If he needs an additional surgery it will just be one more hurdle that he must overcome. He spoke NO words for the first day in a very long time, he lay there quite still really. It is hard to say if this is sign of a complication or whether the chair and shower, he had today, were ever so stimulating. He did eat two sandwiches at breakfast, but by the time we saw him and the speech pathologist saw him there was nothing left not even a smile. It is a very good to have Jaime and Julie here for support during this time. Their days now are measured…….. it will be hard to see them go. I have gone through this one a coupla times now though. This will only change with being home.
So please all of you bring your energy, and prayers together and focus them now on our Todd’s immediate needs.
I invite you to Give a warm, long and comforting (and long distance) embrace to Todd’s body. Within that comforting warmth bring relaxation, stabilize his fluids, and loosen the muscles in his arms. Stretch his body gently as in a big reach for the sun (which we never see by the way). Take you rays of love and hope and run through the veins with the ultimate in sustenance. Lift the fog that surrounds him and take it far far away. Please give Todd the strength and power he needs to heal throughout.
From Jaime & Julie:
We can only add an AMEN.
All our love.
Todd + Alex, Jaime and Julie
Todd Blair 
November 13, 2007 at 5:08 am
Hang in there Alex-
You and Todd are going to be saying, “Get offa me!” by the time this day is over, because of all the long distance hugs and rub-downs. Feel that one there? That’s me…
November 13, 2007 at 8:34 am
Hey Todd! Remember our sun salutations in Mendocino, recall the warming hot tubs and the soothing sounds of the ocean…relaxing at the cafe with coffee and a pastry.
Big, loving hugs to you all. Keep on keeping on.
November 13, 2007 at 9:02 am
Myself, Amy J, Bobbi P, Jon S and others are meeting at Somarts to talk about the Dec 1 Blue and Green Ball. We will take a moment – and bring it on for our boy Todd. We love you Todd we love You Todd We Love U. Alex you are my hero.
After we just spoke – I had a dream – all of us in Petaluma .. I saw it clear as light .. again.
Come on – Come on – Come on
*
November 13, 2007 at 9:21 am
Out with the creakies, in with the easies…. I will set Elton loose again on the dirtiest little i-Pod in the world in the shop today, and stretch you out in the welding warmth, bathe your spirit in the little blue light. And here is a light touch to that scared spot between the shoulderblades where so much of that tension begins… And a quick shuffle dance around the circle of life to keep it real from the booty on up…
Love and hugs and long limber strands of purpose
Johnny
November 13, 2007 at 9:23 am
Dear Alex and Todd, it has been quite a while since I posted here. Know that my thoughts and prayers are going out to you each and every day nevertheless. I want to share with you today’s peaceful climes here on the coast. This morning is clear and quiet save for the surf crashing about a mile away and the hyper vocal birds, responding gleefully to a second day of sunshine after a period of more wintry grey.
The air is moist, oddly warm and heavy, and cushions everything. As I read of your odyssey, I long to reach out to you both, to melt away with magic massages all the aches and uncertainties, all the vividness of your daily surroundings (save for the incredible good bits and amazing accomplishments!)and to lend you all reserves I have of strength and optimism. By all accounts, you are both working miracles and I am nothing short of awed by your resilience and determination. May you be stateside again really soon so that more of us can contribute to the daily, hands-on efforts. I am indebted to your families and friends who are able to join you at AMC. Wishing you peace, with love, Beth.
November 13, 2007 at 9:26 am
Dear Todd+Alex+Jaime+Julie:
Hero and Heroines, sending relaxation, see the fluids quietly being absorbed, ahhhhhhhh, and the sun warming his muscles.
Will send more energy later today from Mount Tam.
S+M
November 13, 2007 at 9:53 am
I hug you guys every day but today will give an extra squeeze, throw in a wet willie and a big smooch!
XOXOXOXOXOXO,Bobbi
November 13, 2007 at 10:54 am
I suspect that the increased consciousness brings a realization of his situation which naturally results in depression. Worry, doubt and feelings of despair would be natural if you’re an artist who can’t move his arms. Instead of trying to be upbeat, I find that naming these shadows of healing always helped. At Zen Hospice we were taught to never try to cheer someone, instead – sit with them inside their sadness.
It’s a long road, and every step is precious.
November 13, 2007 at 11:10 am
I’m doing the Dr. Andrew Weil breathing for you for feeding oxygen to the muscles.
First empty the lungs… really blow out there’s more in there than you think. Then in on a slow count of nine. This is done through the nose. Then hold to a count of three. Then exhale through the mouth, with the tip of your tounge behind your front top teeth. Keep exhaling to the count of seven. Repeating this at least three times.
Great for waking up, going to sleep, during stretching and massaging.
The exhale is a great tool during the deep touching during massage.
Every time I exhale I drop my shoulers, let my arms hang and unclench my hands…
xoxoxo
November 13, 2007 at 11:39 am
Yeah, like Jennifer sez…be gentle with it all, relax into the healing instead of fighting…reach for the sun like a bloomin flower, gently. xox
November 13, 2007 at 12:00 pm
May God give you all strength each day to get through this difficult time. My heart goes out to everyone taking care of Todd and to Todd. Sounds like you all are their for Todd each and everyday right now when he needs you during this difficult time (since the accident)
Sending positive healing and strength energy your way.
November 13, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Extra long hugs from me. Laced with lots of love. And a few sweet Henry hugs,too. Remind Todd about last years Secret Santa shenanigans . I bet he laughs. Kisses too,Penny
November 13, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Dear Todd,Alex.
I am sorry that you are having a litlle bit of a set back, as I look ouside my window, at this beautiful tree, cover with golden and rust color leaves, It make me happy that at this next year, You Lover Birds, will be watching it together, thinking in the past and how much your Love grew,because of the troubles and tribulacions, that your combiened Love conquered.
Tomorrow I,ll go to The Templo y in the special place call The Celestial Room,where you really feel close to God, I,ll will Talked to Him and ask Him, to help Tood, so litle by litle we ALL have our Todd back, because dear niece, He belong to every body that loves Him, Of course He is mostly yours, because you has giving Him All your Tender Heart and some that you did,nt know that you had it in You.
I love you for your strengh and your valient spirit
Your ant
Irma
November 13, 2007 at 6:59 pm
There’s this cartoon in a recent New Yorker of a cat sprawled in an upside down crescent over the edge of the sofa – total absolute kitty relaxation / limpness – and the cat’s thinking “heck – yoga in 20 minutes.” So I’m sending Todd some totally warm, absolutely relaxed kitty hugs…letting the tension go…trusting that the warm, loving earth reaches up through the floor to Todd’s bed and embraces him and you.
November 13, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Alex, Jaime, Julie, and, of course the recip;ient of your love & ministrations, Todd.
Start with the fingers, one hand at a time, the most distant joint; gently move it through it’s range of motion…..slowly, slowly….allowing the tissue to stretch…..gentle rub up the muscle, first the tendon then the muscle belly as you are stretching….then the same to the opposing muscle. This takes forever and if you happen to be a PT with 8 or 18 more patients to see that day, you simply don’t have the time. This is where family & friends complete the job that needs to be done. Work your way up the extremity joint by joint. If you’re not sure of what motion a joint has, try out your own…..does it go up & down, does it rotate, does it go side to side…..whatever yours does, Todd’s should also.
Move slowly, always…give the joints & soft tissue a chance to follow you along. If Todd can help you with these motions, so much the better, but sometimes his just relaxing and letting you do the work is the right way to go. Once you reach the end of a motion just hold it there and let it become comfortable. Again, slowly, slowly.
Unfortunately, this is such a common progression with this type of injury. You’re just beginning the hard work. I wish I were there to help you. I’ll check things out. Maybe I can.
So much love to you all,
Aunt Jane & Bob
November 13, 2007 at 8:40 pm
Oh,
I wonder at the magic of so many people all around the world suddenly aware of and relaxing their arms, thinking lovely and loving thoughts all at once.
Your posts are always so cheerful and positive, Alex, that the reality of your situation there is a continual surprise. Thanks once again for sharing the bad and good, hard and easy.
I will stretch hard tonight, just off another airplane (back to Detroit this time) and send limber agile warm strong love Todd’s way as I do so. We’re here for you, your community that reads and types, a funny kind of connection through the wires and airwaves. I hope the love we send arrives as warm, robust and vital as it leaves here.
xox to you and Todd and the sisters I’ve never met.
Penny J
November 13, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Watching “Rear Window” right now… a scene where Jimmy Stewart is getting a beating of a back and arm massage, to relieve his body from the stiffness incurred while sitting in That chair with Those binoculars, all day/night.
Thinking of Todd- imagining that’s him, gettin’ the ‘ole circulation going, the muscles released.
November 13, 2007 at 9:21 pm
Hang in there Alex. Aunt Jane says the right things, just move his body for him if he can’t right now. I know you are tired. One day at a time, the good days are best, then sometimes it’s back to one day at a time. I wish you had some sunshine, Brian says we will send some to you. Hadley is remembering Todd in her thoughts daily, that’s powerful stuff coming towards you, the seven year olds have the goods you know. Love and energy to Todd and you. Moira
November 13, 2007 at 10:18 pm
Todd and Alex– My thoughts are with both of you, hoping you will find the courage and strength you need, and the time you need to heal. I hope the universe will bless you with what you need. I hope you will find peace of mind in the midst of this struggle. I think of you both everyday. I am grateful for all that we have shared and hope that we will be able to share more soon. You are both very precious people.
Love, Jessica