September 2007

Just got off the phone with Amy Critchett…our amazing Todd is waking up…he’s coming to and responding to Alex at this very moment!!! Todd even began to cry. These are such great signs we need to keep the healing thoughts and energy focused on him right now. Amy and Alex are talking to him this very moment. However, Todd is also running a fever and it is very serious. Please take pause and say a deep prayer for Todd at this moment. We rejoice that he is awakening but we need to make sure his fever is kept down. It is a very critical time for him.

We love you Todd!

Eric Paulos

Photo taken by John Behrens


Todd has a very high fever which has been going up and down since yesterday. It is currently at its highest. 39.5

Please think cooling thoughts.


Todd is waking up.

About ten minuets ago – he started blinking and opening and blinking and then opening his eyes more. He is responding to Alexanderia’s voice with his eyes, with the muscles in his arms. He is opening his mouth as wide as it can go and coughing out all the gunk.

Lets get the channel channel going folks – our Todd is on his way back.


HUGE day here. The effect of the heavy sedative dormicum, is beginning to dissipate. This will take some time but Todd has great kidneys! This morning we saw the first signs of him nearing us. I ( Alex) got a good yet slight squeeze of my hand and the slightest opening of eyes with a great deal of eye fluttering throughout the day….Cannot even tell you how much he has lifted our spirits! This sedative does remain in the system for sometime and his dose was quite massive, the following days will each hold their small yet very great achievements. The drain and ICP have been removed which translates to our guy is very stable. The have just reduced his morphine which is the last medication he is on. Mark also got a bit of a squeeze but that time the doctors were poking him, so he is now reacting to pain….first time today. Good good good progress.

Logistically on our end, while Todd was building up his reserves, for us yesterday was a shit day. Fucking asshole stole Amy and my wallets from our sleeping room ( while she was only 5 feet away from the door online)! As if we needed that one! Today provided the best recovery, for our support team here have successfully secured an apartment in a fun neighborhood a metroride ride away for the AMC….. This will be great for us, and really great for the incoming support team as they begin to mobilize. For there are bars and restaurants, cafes right out the door. As many of you are expressing concern please know we do have a building Dutch support system with a new wonderful addition just yesterday, thanks Barney!

Here were everyday feels like a week, our team is building up. Mark & Jake Eddie were here today. Jake really really wants to see his Unci Todd. Todd’s Dad & Renate arrive on Wednesday…….and then we are working towards another transition and it will be a big one. Amy, Mark, and Jake Eddie leave on Saturday and Penny H. arrives on Monday for a week….we are creating a schedule to assure the even spacing of support crew so that Todd and I are not alone here in Amsterdam.

You can see why yesterday was quiet, we know many of you check this blog hourly, and be aware….so do we. Your thoughts, wishes, stories, and poems are what prop us up here so far away from home and all your hugs that we long for. Karen should be making a new place to build up the stories we are all carrying around with us….

With much love from afar.
Alex & Amy


My silence has been a product of all of the indescribable minutia, the necessary mountains to move and complete and absolute disbelief that something of this magnitude could and did happen to Todd.

Saw Todd this afternoon, and I can say to all who were there in the first days, he has made a lot of progress. Small but important parts of him are coming back, breathing on his own, bruises and swelling going down. The nurse remarked that when she shined a light into his eyes, the pupils contracted. He is really starting to look like Todd again. Enjoyed talking to him for a bit, and making a couple of wisecracks. Regardless of ones opinion of the medical establishment, its amazing to see first hand what can be done by way of mechanical repair to broken bodies at a first rate facility like the AMC.

Somehow, in the midst of all this, we were able to continue packing all that crap but it sure didn’t feel very good on the ground at NDSM this week. I am awed by Alex and her ability to manage as she does through this time. I am grateful to my wife, Amy who is supporting Alex the best she can. Without their tireless and reassuring efforts, I don’t know how the SRL crew would have made it through the past week.

Ill be thinking about what SRL will do as a group to help this next week in Amsterdam. SRL crew, please send your suggestions.


Taking things at his own pace. That is our Todd

Alex and Todd are in an incredible groove. This from Alex at 5am this a.m. to me and few others – while I slept in our cozy room just out side the ICU ward

“It is 5 in the morning and I am soon going to sleep
for a bit. Todd and I were in such a peaceful state
together I just stayed in it. It is clear through our
time together that he will be taking things at his own
pace. We also somehow connected or at least I gained
clarity on what a good plan framework might be for the
next few weeks, keeping in mind that things are and
will be changing.”

We are in constant flow between being in the moment and planning as well as we can for what is ahead. An hour, a day, a week.

Today Todd has a fever. Antibiotics will kick in soon.

Today the drain was removed from his sweet head. This is good

Today he is coughing and not liking it when they do the ballon air in, suck stuff out routine necessary to keep his lungs clear. But in true Todd style he works through it and then settles right back into Alex’s loving hands.

More to come,

Peace, Love, Todd

Amy and Alex

Dear God.

Please bring the whole Todd back to us when he is ready, in the meantime we are looking for an apartment in Amsterdam for the recovery process. He is our fire, our shining star……..

Love Amy & Alex

p.s. Here are the very real specifics. 2 bedrooms, furnished, flexible period of stay, available ASAP, affordable, within 30 minutes of the hospital, private (no roomates except the support crew)

Thanks in advance for your help.

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