Now that we are home, we are in a new chapter that one cannot prepare for. It is a huge gift to finally be in the rehabilitation environment and the next few weeks hold so much promise and without a doubt many challenges. Todd is in an even more challenging daily program than we have ever known and we have had our share of challenges, Todd especially. The demands of his daily routine mean that once he has participated in all his scheduled rehab sessions… there is nothing left for him to give. What that translates to is – he sleeps. The docs have severely scaled back any visitors (and from where we were most recently that is saying a lot!)……. Even if you were able to visit he would most likely be asleep. Yet for all of you with your many questions and really unless you can see us or have been in a similar situation, it is difficult to clearly understand or grasp. This I know…as I am here by Todd’s side and still many of the answers we hunger for can only be given with time. Every day he makes progress, every day there is some new hurdle he has overcome, as little as it could seem to us who take every muscle and movement for granted. You learn how many muscles are involved with a swallow and a hand gesture, the turn of your neck, and the putting on of your shirt (this especially because the range of motion is great). The therapists that surround Todd are not only committed to his recovery but also celebrate his accomplishments (and sometimes tell bad jokes). Some of the limitations are real and others we expect and he surpasses. It is a great lesson to us all.
As for real information….here is a tid bit. With the help of apparatus he is standing! He has done this with his physical therapist a FEW times now! His muscles are gaining strength, also his tone and stamina are also slowly but surely coming along. That is when you learn about good tone and the other tone…. so much learning going on. We have many months of bedrest and other medical challenges which have taken their toll. It will take Todd time. It is the beginning of our chapter of healing, it is a long chapter, it may in and of itself be a book. Never will life be so day by day as it is now, I imagine. Today will rarely hint at tomorrow which is most often an entirely different equation…….that said today dear Todd’s smiles are returning. His face is bright with possibility.
The irony of this situation has never been so obvious as now with every day we are home (I want to say we) but for sure I am aware. When I go to the Berkeley Bowl and grab a tomato (which is out of season, so he would never allow such a thing) or look at the artichoke, dining at our table in the kitchen…. I am surrounded by the “WE” moments that for now are just I. So it is such an ironic and difficult thing to wrap your mind around…….. to miss someone who has fought so hard to be by your side. Who IS……and then when I come home at the end of our day to our house ………is not. To be so near our friends and family and not be surrounded by them, not knowing when that will be a beneficial time but sooooo looking forward to those days. The good thing is we do all have time, we can be together today or tomorrow or next month………..much as it ever was. It needn’t all happen tomorrow. It reminds me of an earlier blog where Yuksel speaks of the human nature: to desire in the immediate………..
March 13, 2008 at 9:42 am
Hi Alex,
You are so right, it needn’t happen immediately, it will happen in time. Todd is teaching us about the long now of relationships, of expectations. The real now.
Though we don’t get to see you as much as we’d like, we are all still here with you, just in a different space. Whenever I pass by your house on my way around Oakland – and everyone I know who knows you does this – we wave and say hi and smile. Last night as I did it, for the first time since Amsterdam I saw that the lights were on. It lit up my night. I know it feels like it’s only you in there, but it seemed like Todd’s whole world was with you too. I hope you can feel that as often as possible.
March 13, 2008 at 10:03 am
Alex,
Just a reminder that we are always thinking about you and Todd, and keep posted on his progress. Thank you for your efforts to so poetically document Todd’s continued recovery – I am personally celebrating his assisted efforts to stand…amazing!
March 13, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Hi Alex,
This is some medical variant of yoga. Once Todd learns each muscle he will know it more clearly than the rest of us. I glad for the intense focused work he’s doing, and look forward to being able to help with it more directly. Meanwhile virtual hugs, smiles and waves.
Don
March 13, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Dear Alex:
Your poignant writings continue to express the high and lows of this long long journey.
If you ever need a retreat space, remember Cotati has a guest room, with a real “BED”!
take care of yourself.
March 13, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Alex,
Thanks for keeping us up to date with the news. I think of you guys every day, and am so, so thankful recovery is manifesting! Keep up the strength.
Love,
Jessica
March 15, 2008 at 2:14 pm
This reminds me of Alex and Todd:
http://entusbrazos.fr/
It takes forever to load, but I hope Alex watches it.
March 17, 2008 at 12:34 am
Alex,
I had a dream last night that todd was up/around/ and teaching. We were sitting at picnic benches smiling in the sun. Perhaps its only because that was our proximity – nonetheless It shocked me awake with a smile.
“Irony is the gaiety of reflection
and the joy of wisdom. ”
?Anatole France
Todd- STANDING! incredible- be it with apparatus or not. Honestly, I can’t imagine todd without some sort of apparatus involved.
Thank you for keep us in your loop, you two continue to inspire the truth of possibility.
March 18, 2008 at 7:30 am
Sweets!
Hi there Todd, hi there Alex!!
I’ve been thinking about you peeps in Death Valley, and in Vegas, and now in Nashville, with coffee at the river.
I’ll soon come tell again in real life how the outside life shows itself to me.. Lunch Alex?
I’ll be on call later this year for when you and Todd need me running around for ya. And now.. when it is a reasonable time for coffeebreak with you guys, i’ll give you a call!
Love, Toetsie.
ps, they have an Orchid Tootsie Lounge overhere!! Wheeeeehhhihaaa!
March 20, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Oh, I wish I was physically closer to be able to greet you at the door when you came home from a long day and give you a hug and fix you a dinner and be a hint of “home” for you – but although I’m not physically there, know that I’m always there mentally and emotionally for you and Todd, sitting across the table…
Sending you strength, hope and a release from irony! (And of course, big hugs for you both!!)
Terre
March 23, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Todd, We are going to miss you at Hunter’s senior show at CCA. We will make a flickr for you.
We will be thinking of you.
Don’t forget, you are the UNCLE TODD!!!!
Love to Alex,
Nan & Hunter

March 25, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Maker faire is coming up which sent memories flooding back of my long talk with Todd at last years event. You guys are in our thoughts and we hope to see you guys healthy and getting into trouble again soon!
-Ethan
March 26, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Alex
Thinking of you both and hoping all is continuing to go well.
So much love sent your way from so many
Tiffany