Penny here: today was a reminder that, the healing/recovery process is just like our regular lives, we have good days and bad days and in-between days and all those other Dr.Seuss days. And now this is regular life for Alex and Todd for now and the near future and who knows how long. And ir/regular because you have no idea what the day will bring. Kisses one day, blank stares and sleep the next. Three weeks as of today. Not very long for many things. Way too long for other things. Here’s something positive: Todd is no longer in a coma. Todd is no longer in a vegetative state. Todd sometimes recognizes Alex. Todd is breathing on his own completely. No respirator at all. The noises in his room in the ICU have gone from incessant with regular beeping to just the sound of him breathing through the tracheotomy tube. The breathing machine is OFF. Todd is on his own. Well, he has us and he has you and he has a host of attractive nurses and doctors. Love Penny, and Alex and Todd.
October 13, 2007
October 13, 2007 at 4:36 pm
This post reminds me of that poster i used to see incessantly when i was a kid- you know, the What Day Are You? with all the little faces. I remember thinking even then that it could never be only one at any given time.
October 13, 2007 at 5:03 pm
thinking of you amidst the constant changes…..
sending love and healing.
tiff
October 13, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Dear Alex & Penny,
Head injuries were one of the few things that could make me cry as a physical therapist. The days are so erratic…..and the chart goes from total highs to total lows back to total highs. I do understand the stress but also the moments of joy you’re experiencing right now. I wait for the day you can fly home safely and be surrounded by all these marvelous people who have been supporting you from afar. It really does help to have physical hugs, and hear voices that stand right next to you. It also would help Todd to feel that contact and hear those voices. I love him so deeply & I think he knows, but remind him anyway. And you two stay strong & brave. The path you’re walking right now is one of the hardest you’ll ever follow.
Aunt Jane
October 13, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Penny you are right and we all have to remember that every effort on Todd’s part to nod to squezze Alex hand to start to respond to his environment is a trememdous emotional as well as physical effort for him and after that he is exhusted and needs time to rest and recup. I know that we might be so anxiuos for more but he will set the pace.
Thank you for being such a good friend to both of them! Love Jimena (Alex’s mom)
October 13, 2007 at 8:45 pm
Todd, you were very vibrantly in my thoughts today as I gleefully peddled my way around lake merrit in a paddle boat. I kicked down to the project area, and reviewed all the drawings, turning over the thoughts we’ve thunk together over this last couple of years. Then I pulled out my favorite pen and got to work, drawing your voice out of my heart, weighing the way we each approach beauty, the angular and the organic, the hammer and the lathe. I see reflective stainless pixels dotting that chunky pedestrian bridge, echoing the sun in the water we both are so entertained by. I get excited with you about the realization that we can use the masses of concrete as an armature for our reflective surfaces. I’m shaping some ideas, but leaving big spaces for the richest collaboration I’ve ever had the pleasure of encountering. I miss you buddy, take your time resting up and I’ll see ya soon.
love and hugs and gentle rocking boat bliss
JCR
October 13, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Sometimes cimbing up the damn mountain is a huge pain in the ass – just slog, slog, slog and post-holes up to your hips. Nothing could suck more. But then the wind changes, and you bust out of the snow, and a view opens up and it’s like all that heaviness drops off in an instant to be replaced by the most amazing experience of bouyancy – and happiness. Or – like Elizabeth Bishop says – “Rainbow, rainbow, rainbow!” I wish today wasn’t a slogging day for you, but I hope tomorrow is a rainbow day.
Let me know if you want anything from your house that I can bring over to Levon before he leaves. Would fish taco travel well internationally?
All Oakland misses you.
October 14, 2007 at 5:30 am
There was a flurry rippling through my world the last few days. Hushed murmuring, excited grins, and the anticipation of my reaction when i read the posts of this week. A few couldn’t wait. “I don’t want to spoil it for you – but today is a GOOD Todd day!”
I couldn’t get to my computer until this morning… I am stunned by the emotional release i didn’t realize i was holding onto since I first heard the news. There must have been an audible sigh as the news that Todd had risen from the “comma” – because surely he would come back from this pause to continue the sentence – and a myriad of held breaths let go in relief.
I had two things to write – one is now mercifully a moot point, but i will say it – as it might help someone, some day: In my experience, while my brother sat at my bedside in the ICU for weeks without a cognitive response from me, he talked to me as if i were awake, carrying on a one-sided conversation. And so much of what he said to me became part of the script of my comma-dream-adventure.
My comma experience was a long and beautiful dream, and i remember resenting being brought up for tests until it was time to wake up for real.
I was just going to suggest carrying on conversations with Todd, believing that he could hear you, even if he worked the script his own way in his imagination and subconsciousness. I think this was probably already happening – Amy said she had urged Todd to take his time and heal.
I regret that this is the first chance I have had to put this thought out, but am so very, very happy that Todd is past this point in the process now!
The other comment was just a small personal acknowledgement of the intensely personal, emotional, and rewarding gathering that was last Wednesday’s Dorkbot. Mark’s informative and enlightening talk about the Robodock show was peppered throughout with the often funny thread of his admiration, appreciation, and love for Todd over the past 17 years. It was moving, and i feel honoured to have shared Mark’s memories of their collaboration.
You are all in my thoughts, and prayers. Be brave. With love, amacker
October 14, 2007 at 5:36 am
Justwanted to remind you,that there are a lot of people wishing you well herein amsterdam and holland,lots of the robodockcrew recieve updates but dont bother with mailing you replies, we are sure you have much to do without constantly checking mails.like you we wish for a speedy recovery,but remember todd has already crossed the first giant hurdle,he is breathing alone,and his brain is slowly and gently beginning to wake up at its own pace….all this indicates that todd will, and is going to get better,Of course you wish it to be a quicker process like us all.
Staying strong like you are will also greatly help him,it is going to take time, the brain is a comples organ and cannot be rushed.When todd does fully recover you wont mind really how long, within reason it takes>Hang in there and if you need ANYTHING at all no matter what.. then get in touch….Jerry on behalf of robodock crew and associates
October 14, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Less a ladder and more like an angled spiral…but always progressing