September 2007

Just got off the phone with Amy Critchett…our amazing Todd is waking up…he’s coming to and responding to Alex at this very moment!!! Todd even began to cry. These are such great signs we need to keep the healing thoughts and energy focused on him right now. Amy and Alex are talking to him this very moment. However, Todd is also running a fever and it is very serious. Please take pause and say a deep prayer for Todd at this moment. We rejoice that he is awakening but we need to make sure his fever is kept down. It is a very critical time for him.

We love you Todd!

Eric Paulos

Photo taken by John Behrens

Todd has a very high fever which has been going up and down since yesterday. It is currently at its highest. 39.5

Please think cooling thoughts.


Todd is waking up.

About ten minuets ago – he started blinking and opening and blinking and then opening his eyes more. He is responding to Alexanderia’s voice with his eyes, with the muscles in his arms. He is opening his mouth as wide as it can go and coughing out all the gunk.

Lets get the channel channel going folks – our Todd is on his way back.


HUGE day here. The effect of the heavy sedative dormicum, is beginning to dissipate. This will take some time but Todd has great kidneys! This morning we saw the first signs of him nearing us. I ( Alex) got a good yet slight squeeze of my hand and the slightest opening of eyes with a great deal of eye fluttering throughout the day….Cannot even tell you how much he has lifted our spirits! This sedative does remain in the system for sometime and his dose was quite massive, the following days will each hold their small yet very great achievements. The drain and ICP have been removed which translates to our guy is very stable. The have just reduced his morphine which is the last medication he is on. Mark also got a bit of a squeeze but that time the doctors were poking him, so he is now reacting to pain….first time today. Good good good progress.

Logistically on our end, while Todd was building up his reserves, for us yesterday was a shit day. Fucking asshole stole Amy and my wallets from our sleeping room ( while she was only 5 feet away from the door online)! As if we needed that one! Today provided the best recovery, for our support team here have successfully secured an apartment in a fun neighborhood a metroride ride away for the AMC….. This will be great for us, and really great for the incoming support team as they begin to mobilize. For there are bars and restaurants, cafes right out the door. As many of you are expressing concern please know we do have a building Dutch support system with a new wonderful addition just yesterday, thanks Barney!

Here were everyday feels like a week, our team is building up. Mark & Jake Eddie were here today. Jake really really wants to see his Unci Todd. Todd’s Dad & Renate arrive on Wednesday…….and then we are working towards another transition and it will be a big one. Amy, Mark, and Jake Eddie leave on Saturday and Penny H. arrives on Monday for a week….we are creating a schedule to assure the even spacing of support crew so that Todd and I are not alone here in Amsterdam.

You can see why yesterday was quiet, we know many of you check this blog hourly, and be aware….so do we. Your thoughts, wishes, stories, and poems are what prop us up here so far away from home and all your hugs that we long for. Karen should be making a new place to build up the stories we are all carrying around with us….

With much love from afar.
Alex & Amy


My silence has been a product of all of the indescribable minutia, the necessary mountains to move and complete and absolute disbelief that something of this magnitude could and did happen to Todd.

Saw Todd this afternoon, and I can say to all who were there in the first days, he has made a lot of progress. Small but important parts of him are coming back, breathing on his own, bruises and swelling going down. The nurse remarked that when she shined a light into his eyes, the pupils contracted. He is really starting to look like Todd again. Enjoyed talking to him for a bit, and making a couple of wisecracks. Regardless of ones opinion of the medical establishment, its amazing to see first hand what can be done by way of mechanical repair to broken bodies at a first rate facility like the AMC.

Somehow, in the midst of all this, we were able to continue packing all that crap but it sure didn’t feel very good on the ground at NDSM this week. I am awed by Alex and her ability to manage as she does through this time. I am grateful to my wife, Amy who is supporting Alex the best she can. Without their tireless and reassuring efforts, I don’t know how the SRL crew would have made it through the past week.

Ill be thinking about what SRL will do as a group to help this next week in Amsterdam. SRL crew, please send your suggestions.


Taking things at his own pace. That is our Todd

Alex and Todd are in an incredible groove. This from Alex at 5am this a.m. to me and few others – while I slept in our cozy room just out side the ICU ward

“It is 5 in the morning and I am soon going to sleep
for a bit. Todd and I were in such a peaceful state
together I just stayed in it. It is clear through our
time together that he will be taking things at his own
pace. We also somehow connected or at least I gained
clarity on what a good plan framework might be for the
next few weeks, keeping in mind that things are and
will be changing.”

We are in constant flow between being in the moment and planning as well as we can for what is ahead. An hour, a day, a week.

Today Todd has a fever. Antibiotics will kick in soon.

Today the drain was removed from his sweet head. This is good

Today he is coughing and not liking it when they do the ballon air in, suck stuff out routine necessary to keep his lungs clear. But in true Todd style he works through it and then settles right back into Alex’s loving hands.

More to come,

Peace, Love, Todd

Amy and Alex

Dear God.

Please bring the whole Todd back to us when he is ready, in the meantime we are looking for an apartment in Amsterdam for the recovery process. He is our fire, our shining star……..

Love Amy & Alex

p.s. Here are the very real specifics. 2 bedrooms, furnished, flexible period of stay, available ASAP, affordable, within 30 minutes of the hospital, private (no roomates except the support crew)

Thanks in advance for your help.

It is a quiet day. Off of all swelling medicines and sedatives Todd is in some ways – on his own – and in others, as we all know – not at all.

We wait.

We rub.

We encourage. We humm, we sing, we tell stories, we are quiet.

We love Edith – his brilliant and very lovely nurse for the day – and are happy when she kicks us out so she can give him a nice bath and rub down.

We (all of us) want our Todd. We really really really really want our Todd.

We wait.

Alex and Amy

I can not tell you how wonderful it is to hear all of this great news from Alex and Amy C. concerning Todd’s amazing progress. Like all of you, I am continuously sending the most positive thoughts and healing energy to Todd. I have only now found time to sit down and relate some of the early moments of this horrible accident and how Todd has been making such tremendous progress. I also hope this will let you know how each of you played an important roll in his healing from the very first moments.

I was about 25 meters away packing my bag and immediately after the accident I rushed in. He was unconscious and as others ran for help we checked his vital signs. After about a minute he opened his eyes, looked at me and grabbed my arm, attempting to get up. Dan Collard and I talked calmly to him as the Dutch medical teams begin to gather around him. As they pushed the growing crowd back, they allowed Dan and I to stay with him and provide familiar voices amidst the Dutch speaking medics, radios, and chaos. I can assure everyone that Todd received medical attention very rapidly and was on his way to the hospital within minutes. I rode with Todd in the ambulance directly to the hospital where we were immediately met by Mark P. and Amy C. Todd was brought into surgery while many others began to arrive at the Hospital. After several hours of surgery, Amy, Liisa, and I were brought up to speak with the doctors and visit Todd in the ICU. It was clear from our interactions and discussions with the doctors, surgeons, and medical staff at Amsterdam’s AMC that Todd was receiving excellent care.

We continuously relayed medical information to Alex and Dr. Blair, Todd’s father, and arranged for several direct conference calls between Todd’s surgeons and Todd’s family. What I want everyone to understand is that Todd was never left alone. Between Amy C. and I we stayed with Todd until Alex arrived from the States. We held his hands and rubbed his chest. I talked about all of the many great memories we had shared and about all of the adventures we were yet to have in the future. We focused on keeping a positive energy of healing in his room. More importantly, I knew that each and every one of you wanted to be by his side, hold him, and tell him your love for him. Let me assure you that I talked to him about many of you – about how much and how deeply he is loved by each of you. I often paused, holding his hand and chest, and opened myself up to all of the healing energy from all of you and channeled it into him. There are some of you that I do not know and I made sure to make you present in the room with him as well. During those first few hours an alarm on one of the machines went off. It was our rockstar Todd. He had already begun to take a few breaths on his own – fighting back against the automatic breathing system and setting off the alarm. It is such exciting news to know that he has now progressed to truly be breathing on his own. That’s our Todd! Please, know that as you may have felt helpless being so far, far away from Todd, in fact I was insuring that he was feeling your presence, your thoughts, and your prayers at his bedside.

I wished that I had had some of your own personal stories to relate, to tell, and share with Todd. So we setup this blog – not just to be a central place to track Todd’s progress and send our prayers but a place to share stories and support Alex and others at his bedside. Many of you have already given much towards Todd’s healing and progress, but I invite all of you to take a few minutes and just recall a fun or humorous memory you shared with Todd. Then please post it on this site for Alex and others to read and share with Todd. Even just a short paragraph will do wonders in keeping the momentum of the positive energy around Todd vibrant as Alex and Amy C. share your anecdotes of Todd with him.

We rushed to setup this site for Todd, his friends, and family, and it is indented to be inclusive, not exclusive. If any of you have images, video, or other material to post please let us know and we are more than happy to make sure you have full access to post, add, and share your personal memories of Todd with all of us.

I also think we need to make sure to send some energy to Alex and Amy C. as they continue to support Todd during his recovery.

Now is a very critical time for Todd and I ask they you keep him in your thoughts and prayers now more than ever as he begins to progress forward.

Todd I love you!

- Eric Paulos

Hi all the Paypal account for the Todd/Alex fund has been setup thanks to Susie Maunu. It can be found permanently in the How To Help page here.

Please send your donations to

Thank you!

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